Category Archives: Parenting

I was on a break

I’ve had a few weeks off. I wasn’t planning to, but it had got to the point where the idea of having to switch my laptop on in the evening was just TOO HARD so I thought a break was in order. Sometimes, it all just gets a bit much.

Things that were depressing me
-The amazing non-sleeping baby
-Friends with babies the same age saying how great it is now they’re sleeping through the night, and me saying ‘Oh that sounds lovely, we’re still being woken up every two hours ha ha’ and them doing sympathetic head tilts at me
-The losing weight is FUN! switch in my head had turned itself off, and I’d really piled it on
-None of my clothes fit me (see above)
-Dreadful skin
-One of my toenails really hurt
-I still can’t open the petrol cap on the car, so my husband has to fill it up for me. This is mortifying, but I just can’t do it (and the power of positive thinking has left me looking like an arse on the forecourt as I spin the cap round repeatedly trying to make it click properly on more than one occasion)

Things I’ve done to try to improve things

-Been horrified by several recent photos, and started losing weight again. I’m short, I just don’t carry excess well
-Managed to fit my arse into a few more bits of clothing (VERY dull only having one pair of trousers you can actually get into)
-Been to the GP for the pill, and to get on the waiting list to see a dermatologist. I think I need Roaccutane again
-Cursed everyone who told me that having a baby would stop adult acne. It hasn’t. Thanks all.
-Been to the podiatrist again and got her to sort the sad toenail out
-Accepted that my baby won’t sleep for more than two hours at a time till he’s ready, and I can replace the car in two years, and get one with a petrol cap that doesn’t need witchcraft to open it

Things are looking up!


My glamorous life

The baby has a cold. When babies have colds, they make very sad faces, snot everywhere, and stop sleeping because they feel so awful. That’s all familiar-I’m much the same myself when a cold strikes. What I didn’t know is that they can also projectile vom everywhere because they swallow so much mucus. Leading to today’s glam post, in which I ended up literally covered in sick yesterday evening, after snuggling up on the bed to cuddle the poor sad hot-cheeked baby. Top parenting tip-if your child ever makes a noise that sounds interestingly prehistoric (I thought it was quite like an angry stegosaurus) hold them at arms length to avoid the worst!

After stripping the baby, the bed and myself, I put the washing machine on super hot, ran the boy a bath and hosed him down, and he went to sleep clean and sweet smelling, just in time for my husband to arrive home and see an adorable sleeping child. I handed over full responsibility for the baby to my husband and went and ran the hottest bath I could get out of our ancient boiler, and added a lot of Molton Brown Heavenly Gingerlily bubbles. I had a good scrub, then lounged around and read my book, put a hair mask on and combed it through, and eventually emerged, pink, glowing and ready for bed. Which all went to plan, until I was woken up by the small coldy boy managing to throw up on me through the bars of his cot. Cleanup round two was a bit less Molton Brown and bath lounging and a lot more Wash and Go in the shower-luckily, we’ve stayed sick free as a household for nearly 24 hours, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the cold is on its way out!